IT’S HARD BEING A BOY

Life as a primary-school kid is tough.

You need to know your fractions. You have to take the public bus on your own. And mum and dad expects you to ace Chinese spelling when they can’t even speak a single word of it.

Girls are yucky. John Cena is fat. And did DanTDM buy any of his YouTube subscribers?

Can’t we have more PE in school? Longer recess pleaseee! And why is the teacher always telling us to keep quiet?

Life sucks like a giant Amazon leech!

WE ♥ PRANKSTER GANSTERS

As kids, we just wanna do these:

• Play Minecraft (and be billionaires in future as Minecraft teaches us coding, which transform us into Internet moguls)
• Shoot zombies
• Do bottle flips
• Do the dab
• Do cupstacks. But we still like the Cup Song
• Play kendama
• Master the Rubik’s Cube
• Play Roblox and Carnival when Minecraft gets boring
• Be TrollHunters #trollhunters
• Hashtag everything because it’s cool
• Trade football cards, especially the European Championship ones
• Be YouTubers because YouTubers play games all day and make lots of money
• Be rock stars because rock stars play music and games all day and make lots of money
• Be Prankster Gangsters because we’re part of the Prankster Gangster Nation #PGN
• Study hard and get good grades in school
• Learn the full lyrics to 7 Years
• Play football or FIFA Soccer on the iPad if we suck at actual football
• Do dangerous science experiments and blow up stuff
• Fart loudly
• Snap our fingers and whistle
• Study hard and get good grades in school, especially Mother Tongue
• Dress cool because we’re prankster gangster
• Get iTunes Cards as birthday presents instead of toys
• Get paid to learn spelling
• Study hard and get good grades in school, especially Math
• Stop our parents from hacking into this list
• Learn the songs we want to play at piano classes
• Change our surnames to Skywalker
• Be allowed to eat chocolates whenever
• Have a pet dinosaur
• Be taller